So, I'm in therapy. Yep, that's it ... I've said it. I've laid it all on the table. I see a therapist every Wednesday at 2 p.m. She's fabulous and she's helped me a lot in the past five or six weeks.
I started going because, in the past 10 months or so, I have developed some unhealthy eating habits. I won't go into detail but I will say this: I'm stressed and my way of de-stressing is some unhealthy eating habits. I'm working on those. We've also discovered that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). It's like OCD but a little less (look it up on wikipedia and read the part about signs and symptoms and obsession, but ignore the part about house cleanliness - that doesn't apply to me - I wish it did, but it doesn't). It means that I have certain ways I do things. I like the towels folded a special way. I am a big rule follower and have little tolerance for people who don't follow the rules. Many things are black or white to me. I have control issues, that's for sure. That's not why I'm writing this post, though....
I'm writing this post because of something Melinda and I discussed today. She said that I beat myself up and that causes me stress which makes me do my unhealthy eating habits in order to destress. Duh, of course I beat myself up about stuff. Don't we all do that? Isn't that just human nature? Isn't that a "mom" thing? I'm too fat, I'm too gray, I'm too mean, I was too lazy to put the grocery cart back into the cart return place, I wish I hadn't said that, I wish I was a better pianist, Mac-n-cheese for dinner again?... The list goes on and on. For each of us, I'm sure, the list is never-ending. So, what should I/we do about it? Well.... Melinda had me read an article by Dr. Rick Hanson called, "Don't Beat Yourself Up". (Dr. Hanson writes a blog of JOTs - Just One Thing.) While I don't subscribe to everything in the article, I do agree with two things he said. First, when you find a fault in yourself, give yourself an encouraging talk about it (not to encourage yourself to do it again, but encourage yourself to take appropriate action). Second, after your encouraging self-talk about your fault, name three virtues or good points about yourself. I've decided that I need to take this one step further for myself... I need to write down "Just One Thing" (JOT) that is positive about myself. I guess you could say that I'm going to start a JOT Journal of sorts.
Thanks for reading and happy "jot"ting.
(P.S. If you'd like to read his article - here's the link... http://www.rickhanson.net/inner-peace/dont-beat-yourself-up)